Tuesday, October 4, 2011

iPhone 5 Release - Reenacted by Mic & Kel

Mic: And another thing. Today we are announcing iBlahlahblah. It's another icon on your phone! It pops up alerts when you are trying to make a phone call! It will fuck up your phone calls! Also, it looks like all the other icons. You want Googlemaps 'cus you are lost? Ta da! You just accidentally launched iBlahlahblah instead.

Kel: yup and be careful not to hit the new photo button when opening your phone on the toilet, who knows what shenanigans can happen.

Kel: And I hope you don't have the iPhone 4 when the IOS 5 comes out, cuz you know new software never works on old phone ware.

Mic: It's has a A5 dual core processor. What does that mean? Quicker trips to Apple for battery replacement. Shorter talk time, down to just 19 seconds. It also runs hot enough to fry an egg AND give you cancer. Starts shipping October 14th.

Kel: ‎...don't forget that the glass is .001 millimeters thinner and therefore 100xs more likely to crack. Made from high grade diamond and will cost $1,000 to replace should you crack it.

Mic: oh, and anotherthingsomethingelse, it now has an 8 megapixel camera! your blurry mirror vanity pics in full HD. Best part, the files are so big you can only store up to 27 and still have room to download Angry Birds 8 Free.

Kel: No no Angry Birds upgrade is $4.99 didn't you hear. It's real time, playing against international opponents.

- this has been brought to you by Von Walter & Strodes Limited.

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Posted via email from Kellyfornia on the state of... well, things.

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